7 Kids, 2 grandkids, 1 on-the-way, 2 cats, Mom, and Dad

How are they coping or What about Bob?

Everyone is concerned about BW and the conversation ultimately comes around to how the kids are handling it and then how am I doing too.

The prince and princesses all know the details of what is going on with BW. No mysteries and being left to wonder since they are old enough to understand the details of her condition.

Youngest Daughter has started to express herself in poetry and some of the pieces are not only moving, but are quite good too.

Middle Daughter likes to help, make tea, and I believe she talks it out a lot with her friends.

Oldest Daughter is off to college and spends most of her time with her boyfriend. I think she's trying to make a life so it is hard to come around here where there is a fight for life. She does call often and asks advice about things she never would have before of BW.

Son is off on his own too but likes to call and drop by to give moral support and also lift the spirits of his sisters.

I'm hanging in there since that's the only thing I can do. I have to be strong for everyone else since any weakness on my part could put everyone else into a depression or panic, so I don't. I have to keep things together here and logistically make sure the family stays on track.

The one problem relative that I've alluded to in email and on here was finally told to not call and that she is not welcome in our home. She called and asked what BW wanted or needed (meaning food) and I told her that what she really wanted was an apology for being treated so poorly on their special day out.

The offending relative said that she wasn't going to apologize and thought that BW owed her one!!!! What kind of person, even if they were totally in the right, wouldn't apologize knowing BW's condition and what is going on with her life. Hence, the banishment from hearth and phone with BW's full knowledge and approval.

I also spoke to Mother-in-Law and each of her siblings right after it happened so that they were aware of what I said, how I said it, and what my expectations are with my wife. And, three days later...still no apology... *sigh*

A high of almost 50 or You know what that means!

No, I won't be taking advantage of the relatively balmy weather to try out a new swimsuit, get a jump on the spring planting, or work on my backstroke at the outdoor pool.

I will be using this opportunity to chip the ice and do more snow removal!!! Woohoo! Six days in a row with a shovel and chipper in my hand. It doesn't get any better than that, does it folks?

Well if he's going to do it or If he jumped off of a bridge...

My Good Friend actually did this one so I thought I'd show my support and do it too.

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life:

1. dishwasher/fry cook
2. retail
3. soldier
4. pre/post sales support

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over:
1. Xanadu
2. The Princess Bride
3. When Harry Met Sally
4. Henry V

Four Places You’ve Lived:
1. Philadelphia, PA
2. New Hampshire
3. Augusta, GA
4. Fort Huachuca, AZ

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:
1. Scrubs
2. The Office
3. American Idol
4. How I Met Your Mother

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation:
1. Hawaii
2. Disney World
3. Niagara Falls
4. Rye, NH

Four Blogs You Visit Daily:
The ones on my blog roll.

Four Of Your Favorite Foods:
1. Potatoes
2. Raspberries
3. Pot Roast
4. Wine

Four Places You’d Rather Be:
1. Napa Valley
2. Touring Europe
3. Breaking New Grounds
4. Playing Poker

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without:
1. Lost 45s
2. anything by the Beatles
3. Elton John's Greatest Hits
4. Bare Naked Ladies

Four Vehicles I’ve Owned:
1. 1968(?) Volkswagen Bug, orange
2. Pacer
3. assorted mini-vans
4. 2005 Nissan Maxima, liquid silver

What they are or Not many guesses.

This picture was taken at night in my front yard. I have some rope lights that got buried by the snow and this is what the green one looks like.

This is, of course, another rope light but more from a long view perspective instead of shooting straight down on it.

Sunny, cold, windy or Get rid of it before it freezes!

Yesterday marked the fourth day in a row that I've had to shovel snow or break up ice that started to form on the driveway and walkways of our home. I'll be tackling the bottom part of the driveway, to the left in this picture, once the sun hits it and helps in breaking up the ice.

I did this at around noon and when I got home with BW at 5:30 the asphalt had actually dried because of the sun and wind action.

Finished the driveway or Of course it snowed some more.

Well...last night the 40% chance of snow came through and dumped another 2-3 inches on the driveway that I meticulously cleared yesterday afternoon.

Oldest Daughter's boyfriend plowed when we got the biggest amount of snow but I hand shoveled it the other two times. And, the pressure from cars or plow trucks compresses the snow into ice and that is more difficult to remove.

It was beautiful when the snow fell last night and the winter sun this morning is shining brightly. The snowflakes last night came down looking like puffs of cotton, that's how big they were as they fell.

Here's a picture outside my sliding glass doors this morning.

Trying to figure it out or Maybe it is just me.

I read an article about a woman that attempted to cut off her husband's penis because he slapped her during an argument.

Let me just say that I'm opposed to abuse of any kind. The fact that he slapped her is wrong and shouldn't be tolerated. However, isn't taking scissors to him and causing a wound that needed 25 stitches a bit much?

What kind of outcry would there be if the same couple got in an argument, the wife slapped her husband, and he cut off one of her breasts? What if she was bigger than him? Would that make it right? How about mental abuse? When is physical mutilation, as an act of revenge, justified?

After reading the comments and thinking about it more...

The idea that the woman is the aggressor is not too far off base. I've seen shows like COPS and Jerry Springer before and in those show largish women slap and/or beat the crap out of their skinny, mullet-head men.

If a man waited until a woman fell asleep and then cut off a breast, he'd be hung from the highest tree. Anyone that spoke out in support of him doing that would be a social misfit. However, let it be a man that is mutilated and a sisterhood forms claiming that he deserved it.

I know that there is always going to be that individual that clearly gets what they have coming to them. They perpetrated abuse on a scale that clearly shows that they deserved it and you wonder why it took so long. I'm not talking about those people.

Let me be clear. Abuse in any way, shape, or form is wrong. Let me take it further...supporting in word or deed the abuse or mutilation of another individual is wrong.

Another photo or Winter lava run.

Aliens among us or Do you know what it is?

Another card story or No big money here.

We were playing cards at home a couple of weeks ago. I like to play for small stakes, even at home, because I think it makes people play better. Otherwise, people call every bet and it all comes down to who got the best cards, not who played better.

During that game I got a royal flush. A royal flush is the ace, king, queen, jack, and 10 and they are all the same suit. It is the best poker hand that you can get and I got it at a little home cash game. LOL In some casinos you get a jackpot award or a special jacket for this achievement. At home, you get a couple of dollars from winning the pot.

What made it even sweeter is that the flop was the ace, king, and jack of hearts. Son had an ace and a king in his hand and Middle Daughter had king and jack so they weren't going anywhere. I had a king and the queen of hearts. The turn card was another heart so I had an ace high flush. The only thing that could beat that would be a full house or four of a kind. The final card was a 10 of hearts so I had the royal and nothing could beat me.

At that point it got kind of surreal. My family knows just enough to be dangerous when it comes to cards so at that point they start saying that it is going to be a split pot because everyone will share the flush that was on the table. I finally got everyone to do the final round of betting before showing my winning hand.

It was so surreal because I couldn't say, "No! We need to finish betting because I have something better than just a flush!" and still convince them all that we needed to finish the hand.

And here it is...

Fighting a battle or At least it is only on one front.

Beautiful Wife had an MRI has week because she's had a number of migraine headaches recently and because her type of cancer likes to travel to that area. The test results came back yesterday and everything was normal!

Also, she was getting dizzy and sick nearly every day but found that bonine (usually given for motion sickness) helped take care of that problem.

Those two victories will definitely make it easier to continue to fight against the cancer invading her body.

The season change or Today is going to be winter.

The weather this weekend hovered in the lower 50s at time during the day. Most of the snow in the yard melted and we took down the Christmas tree and decorations around the yard.

Today, it is snowing and the roads are treacherous. I was supposed to be at a customer appointment by 10am. By 9:30am I was only about half way there after being on the road for nearly 2 hours. I turned around and went back home. I count myself lucky to have made it without mishap as a number of cars and trucks were off the road. I also saw a number of fender-bender type accidents along the way too.

Of course, the princesses are home from school and Beautiful Wife is awake too. Now I'm sitting at my desk listening to music on my iPod so that they can watch TV while I'm working.

I did manage to put the insulating plastic wrap stuff on all of the downstairs windows. We have baseboard heating that runs along the outside wall so anything to keep that heat inside instead of rising and going out a window will be a plus.

You say tomato or When I was a young lad.

I was reading Antipo's blog and noticed that the possible punishment for saying a naughty word is being sent to boarding school. Antipo then makes it sound wonderful, think Madeline, and says it would be a wonderful treat.

When I was a kid living in Philadelphia there two threats for bad behavior. The belt (father) or wooden spoon (mother) were for minor offenses and wielded pretty much at will or as needed.

Next, was the threat that the police would be called and I'd be sent to reform school for bad boys. Nobody wanted to go there because you had to clean the floor with a lemon all day and then rats ate your toes while you slept at night.

Small wonder that when I was about 7 or 8 a man pulled over in front of our house and tried to get me to into his car. I refused and ran inside to tell on him. My parents called the police and it took a lot of convincing to get me out from behind a chair to speak to the officer and provide a description because I figured he was there to get me and drag me off to reform school for being a tattle tale.

Give me a break or Get me out of here before my head explodes.

Beautiful Wife's family has been a burr under my saddle with their never-ending mantra that "We should be going to Dana Farber."

We explained that we've physically been there before and that our doctors get a second opinion from them on each step of BW's care. There's no value to us actually going there since what needs to be done can be done 20 minutes from our home instead of 90 minutes.

BW had a big blow-up with her psycho bitch sister (like she needs that) about the whole Dana Farber thing and I thought it was finally laid to rest.

We go over to her mother's house for dinner and poker last night and just as we're getting ready to leave her mother mentions that there is some cancer place in Maryland. She says that we can go on the web or maybe give them a call. I said, "Oh great, so this is going to be the next big thing now that you can't use Dana Farber any more?"

I grabbed my coat and suggested that we all make our way home because I was WAY too irritated to stay any longer.

Got to get it right or Poor Middle Princess.

Middle Princess told me she was going to the movies with a certain boy the other night. I asked if she was being picked up, what movie they were going to see, and when they'd be home.

She said she was meeting him and went on her merry way after much primping.

After about 30 minutes the phone rings and said date asks to speak to Princess. I told him that she was on her way to the theater which seemed to leave him puzzled.

Another 30 minutes later he calls to ask me which theater. I told him and then started to call Middle Princess because I was concerned about her. She answers the phone and tells me that she was in the local bookstore.

She didn't know that he was picking her up and then they ended up at two different theaters. They missed the movie so went to the mall to wander around together and talk instead.

I asked her what happened and she said, "I didn't know, it was my first time!"

So even though she's been out with guy friends before this was her first official date...I'm sure she'll never forget it.

First time for everything or what, What, WHAT?

My Sainted Mother came to visit last night and Beautiful Wife got a phone call from Son at the same time. My my leaned over to me and said...

Are you ready?

"I hate that BW has to deal with this fucking cancer!" She even enunciated the K and the G...

Remembering when or Long ago in a state far away.

When I was 20 years old I joined the Army. After three months of misery in Missouri, and then 9 months of additional training in Georgia, BW and I moved together to Arizona.

We had a used Pacer that we bought in GA and drove from their to NH after my training was complete. We had a week or so to visit and then we had to pack up the car and head West. The backseat folded down in that car and we were able to fit a lot of things in there plus we added a roof-top carrier for even more.

The net effect is that we had a vehicle that averaged about 9 miles per gallon and nearly broke our bank account during that 3000 mile trip. This was before cell phones and ATMs so we had to stop at local Sears stores to cash checks along the way when we ran out of cash.

Before we even got started we noticed something leaking from under the car and had to have the power steering line replaced while still in BW's parent's driveway.

We managed to make the trip by traveling along I-40 until we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico. We were astounded by the mountains after a long trip across some of the flattest states in this country. When we made the trip back the big mountains were gone since we'd just lived in an area that had peaks that dwarfed the ones there. We then took I-25 down to I-10 which led us to the road for Fort Huachuca.

We finally reached Fort Huachuca, well after dark, and BW was in tears by the time we got there because it was so desolate. We drove into the fort by way of Huachuca City, a place that boasted a couple of Circle K gas stations and several salvage yards.

Fortunately, after I checked in they directed us out the main gate and into Sierra Vista. It wasn't a big city but it least it had hotels, restaurants, stores, and it looked like civilization. We picked a hotel across the street from the local Sears because by the time we got to Fort Huachuca the car had gasped its final breath.

We found out the next day that the battery had shifted and a corner had been worn away by a belt rendering an entire cell empty. Making it to Fort Huachuca in enough time for me to in-process was a miracle.

Anyway...the next morning I woke up and opened the door to our hotel room. I was looking east to the mountains. The beginning lyrics to John Denver's Rocky Mountain High sum up exactly what I felt:

He was born in the summer of his twenty seventh year
coming home to a place he'd never been before.

I felt like I had come home and that this was the place I was meant to be. I loved our three years in that part of the country but after I got out of the Army we headed back home because that is where both of our families lived.

The soaring mountains, breath-taking sunrises and sunsets, the stark beauty of the desert...all things I love and miss.

What to post or What's on my mind.

It is difficult to know what to post and so I decided to post about having a hard time deciding what to post. :-)

I'd like to post about something fun and light but the last few days and weeks have been anything but...

However, this was kind of funny...

BW had to get on the scale yesterday. The nurses weigh the patients each visit to make sure they aren't losing weight and so that the doctor can accurately determine the dosage of medication they will receive.

BW mentioned that she had gained a little weight and that she was surprised because she had lost some recently. I mentioned that she lost it because she had a rib removed and that dieting by losing body parts wasn't a good idea...

I guess you had to be there...but at least we laughed. :-)

Someone else's surgery or At least we can laugh.

Asian Sister-in-law came over to visit BW today. ASIL had surgery yesterday to remove a lump in her breast. She said that the one they performed surgery on was twice the size of the other. She also talked about her husband's concern that it was a male doctor and asked if he touched the nipple. She laughed and said she wouldn't have been able to tell if he did because they put her whole boob to sleep.

The thing that gets me is that prior to this surgery I've never heard the words breasts, boobs, or nipples come out of her mouth. Now, we can sit in the living room and talk about that because cancer, or the possible threat of cancer, breaks down all kinds of barriers.

But I say...WHY WAIT??!?!

I think we should talk about breasts, boobs, and nipples all the time and not just after an operation!

Bizarre dreams or So you want details?

My dreams have indeed been bizarre but more from the standpoint of how real they same...in that I wake up and have a hard time deciding if it really happened or not.

I had been woken up by a phone call from a co-worker. He didn't realize that I was off and after hanging up I went back to sleep. In my dream I got a call from another co-worker that wanted me to do something and accused me of not being a team player for saying I had to take care of BW. It seemed so real and started my day off on a bad note.

I like Heidi's dream WAY better...

Ground control to me or What is going on in my head.

I've had the most intense and bizarre dreams over the last week. I'm sure it is spillover from my worry regarding BW. Everyone around me, for the most part, operates in panic/crisis mode so I have to be a rock of stability. Otherwise, we'd have a continual parade of hand-wringing and tears around BW while she is concentrating on getting better and doing whatever it takes to prepare for the next battle if she does have cancer.

Right now the big issue is "Why doesn't he take her to Dana Farber?!!?!?" (weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth and lots of fist shaking in my direction).

BW has been to Dana Farber and will continue to go there for second opinions regarding her diagnosis and treatments if needed. If the treatment is only available at Dana Farber, that's where we'll go. However, our hospital is a regional cancer center and has many of the chemo and radiation facilities that you'd find at Dana Farber. I'm sure BW's last round of treatments would have been even harder if she had to travel 2 hours each way in a car on top of getting the treatment.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I was taking BW to Dana Farber now all the nay-sayers would be asking why I wasn't taking her to the local hospital instead, because that's just the way they are...

So, instead of working with us and supporting us, they turn each conversation about her upcoming appointments or care into a battle. I prepare for this battle by visiting the various cancer and medical associations on the web and educating myself on the diagnosis and treatment of her type of cancer. They prepare by talking to someone in the checkout line at the store, catching 10 minutes on Good Morning America, and reading the Enquirer.

If it wasn't so serious, I'd be laughing my ass off right now...

Get comfortable or Edge of your seat.

They haven't finalized the pathology yet so we didn't get the results today. It may be finalized tonight or sometime tomorrow. We have an appointment, again, with the oncologist on Wednesday.

Thanks for the thoughts, prayers, and good wishes.

More news or Thanks for your support.

BW had her surgery on last Tuesday but didn't come home until Thursday evening. This is because the 'little biopsy' turned into a major surgery involving the removal of most of a rib, some of the surrounding muscle, and part of the lining for her lung that had formed an adhesion to the tumor.

We won't find out until Monday what the pathology is for the tumor, but they are assuming that it is cancer. She'll be meeting with the oncologist next week to discuss next steps.

I had a traffic ticket a while ago and yesterday was my court date. BW's sister was visiting so I went to the courthouse to plead my case. I saw how many people were there, and realized it would take most of the day so I decided to just pay the fine and head home to be with BW.

The New Year or More of the same.

Beautiful Wife had her share of medical problems last year and this year is starting off with more of the same. She'll be going into surgery on Tuesday to have a piece of one of her ribs removed and checked for cancer.

We're more in the 'find out what kind it is and start treating it' than the 'hope it really isn't anything' place. We've looked over the lab reports, consulted with several doctors, and this biopsy is the next step before starting any type of treatment.

On the happy side of things...we've had a great holiday season with lots of time spent with family and each other. The only thing that's been missing for us is time with friends, but they've all been on our minds.