It is hard, sometimes, to think about the good things in life or look to the future when you're faced with difficult times in the present. For the past year or so we've been dealing with behavior problems with Youngest Daughter. We've dealt with lying, stealing, drug use, and just overall difficult living conditions for far too long.
Things came to a head when she finally garnered the attention of the local police and now we're dealing with court. I just had to fill out paperwork that was more invasive than a mortgage application in order to figure out how much I have to pay for these court proceedings.
For the past few days she's been a bit better. Part of that may be that any infraction could literally land her in jail, part of it was a bad scare after smoking some pot (again!) while visiting an aunt's house. Now she's worried that she may go crazy and is claiming anxiety attacks. We're pursuing medical/behavioral type help but the wheels of that system move slowly.
In the midst of all this I realize just how lucky I am to have met my wife and how much her love and support means to me. I'd be lost without her and hope that we have many years together and can look back at all of this as a blip in an otherwise happy and care-free life together.
Posted by bbarton at October 21, 2008 12:53 PMSorry about this, Bob. Adolescence is tough at the best of times and YD has had a hard year or two. Happy as she may be for you and much as she may love her new brother, this too is may unsettle her a bit - not least it means she is no longer 'the baby' as she has been till now. In fact all her old life has turned round and gone away. My daughter had tough times around a similar age and for some though not all similar reasons - pot smoking (a lot) school skipping, etc etc all came into the mix thereafter. Oh and panic attacks. She got through, passed her exams, went to university a good deal more mature and together than most of her contemporaries who had never had to face such problems and is now, many years later a wonderful woman and very settled. What did I do? A lot of cuddling - when allowed - I also made it clear that I loved her whatever and whenever and that nothing WHATEVER was going to change this. Hang on in there, Bob. (Oh and if you can find a surrogate mum? aunt? - old friend of her mum's? - someone she can talk to - that might help too.)xx
PS Did she get any kind of grief counselling + relaxation advice to help her cope with the anxiety? All that can be useful too.
Posted by: grannyp on October 22, 2008 09:24 AMI am so sorry to learn of your difficulties. Your daughters are such lovely girls. I'm sure you will work it out together.
Best best wishes to you all!
Posted by: antipodeesse on October 22, 2008 02:28 PM
We've been having the same problems with my younger sister for the last year and a half or so. She's just turned 16, and a few months ago she was picked up for shoplifting. Thankfully they admitted her into an intervention program where she had to do community service and her record was expunged, but I wouldn't be surprised if she got picked up again. She steals from everyone, including my mom's electric and water bill money and her friends' parents.
I love her dearly, but at this point she knows what she's doing, and she's going to have to decide to stop. I don't envy your situation; I hope your daughter learns her way out of hers with as little damage to her future as possible!
Posted by: april on October 21, 2008 08:42 PM