Bob...It's Pretty Widow Friend, from the last widow(er) dinner....
This was the opening sentence in a message that I received from PWF. Little did I know what kind of impact that simple meeting and message would have on my life.
I checked out Match and eHarmony with mixed results. I met some nice people and had some nice dates. My original goal was to meet someone, or a couple of someones, and have a dinner date that didn't involve my children or married friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I'm so grateful that I have married friends that have stuck with me and kept me included in their lives. But, once in a while I thought it would be nice to have dinner with someone that wanted to be with me and not know about when it was me and Beautiful Wife. But none of those nice dates ever moved forward to being anything more than that.
A little over three months ago Pretty Widow Friend and I met at a dinner with a dozen fellow widowed people. We sat at opposite ends of the table and other then an initial “hi” and then a “goodbye” at the end of the night we didn't have any contact with each other. I remember thinking that she was pretty and was flattered (still am incredibly flattered!) when she showed an interest in me.
About a month later we started exchanging messages and then talking on the phone. Turns out she lost her husband a month after I lost BW. She understands the grief and how important it is to live life and to live it now. What started out as two people talking about a common type of loss in their lives started to become much more as we got to know each other better.
So now, we're in a relationship and exploring life together as a couple...with all the challenges that will bring, and enjoying those romantic feelings and moments that we thought were lost to us when our spouses left this world. We get along so well, have so much in common, and really enjoy spending time with each other.
I spoke to the Princesses about this last night. I made sure that they knew this was something that their Mom expected and that we had talked about it before she died.
After some good-natured teasing on their parts they told me that they were happy and didn't have a problem with me continuing to see PWF. They love me and just want to see me happy. They asked her age just as we were driving by the cemetery and when I told them that she is thirty-six Princess Youngest Daughter yelled out, "Hey Mom! Are you listening to this?" And then the teasing started all over again.
I met PWF's best friend and passed with flying colors. When I told the Princesses this they said, "Way to go! You have to get the best friend's approval if it is going to last!" LOL It is funny to see them put their high school spin on a grown-up romance.
It is with some concern that I post this entry. I know that this might be a difficult thing to read if you knew Beautiful Wife. But, it is part of my life that is so good for me and I want to write about it and share those feelings like I've shared so many other parts of my life.
Geo - :)
Denise - It is a beautiful thing. :)
Heidi - You guys will get to meet her sometime in the near future and I know she's looking forward to it.
Ash - I'm glad this post made your day. I loved your story about dating advice for your dad. I've already gotten a couple of music tips from Youngest Daughter.
Xianfern - Thanks! We both feel pretty lucky right now!
Christine - It is nice to have good things happening after the last couple of years.
Heather Anne - Thanks! The daughters are amazing and I'm so glad that they took the news so well.
Antipo - Flirt? Me flirt?!?!?
Chosen - Flirt? Me flirt?!?!!? Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Leigh - Thanks for the luck!
Posted by bbarton at January 16, 2007 12:10 PMAfter having see two of my friends widowed and remarried, I find that it is just absolutely wonderful that the the love in their hearts has grown so much to hold another after such a loss.
It is a beautiful thing.
Bob-
that is fantastic that you've been able to find someone to build a new relationship with. i know that Mary would want you to be happy and to continue to live life to the fullest. when do we get to meet her?
Bob! I am smiling ear to ear for you right now, just from reading this post!!!!!!
I remember when my dad found my stepmom and did the whole dating thing. It was kinda weird, given the mixed feelings with it not being my mom anymore, but it was also so FUN to see my dad so happy again after so many years. I felt like my dad became a happy-go-lucky kid again, something I had not seen in a long time and that in turn made me so happy. It was hysterically funny to see him come home all excited from a date and them for him to tell me about it. He got plenty of teasing too! I enjoyed being a part of it with my dad (as an outside observer/confidant) and found myself rooting for my dad. I am sure your daughters will experience the same!
Posted by: Ashley on January 16, 2007 04:59 PMBob, I think that is wonderful news! Good for you, and PWF is lucky to have found you!!
Posted by: xianfern on January 16, 2007 06:21 PMGood to hear that Lady Luck is really on your side these days. This is a wonderful development, particularly as you navigate through the next few difficult months.
Posted by: Christine on January 16, 2007 06:31 PMBob, I am so happy for you. Your daughters are amazing. Best wishes for this new phase in your life. :)
Posted by: heather anne on January 16, 2007 07:57 PM*pouting silently*
But will you still be allowed to flirt with all your bloggie girlfriends?
Posted by: Antipodeesse on January 17, 2007 02:11 AMAnd your bloggie boyfriends? ;)
Just kidding. Glad you found someone! That's really awesome! Go Bob!
Posted by: Chosen on January 17, 2007 12:22 PMBob - this is such good news! I am thrilled for you.
I think it's also pretty cool that the kids are so supportive of you - and that they can help you with some dating advice - that is awesome.
Good luck!
Way to go, Bob! I can't imagine how hard a thing that had to be, and man, that took a lot of courage to post. I think that the love you and BW had lives on in how you are a father to your children and how your remember your life together. Simply moving on for you personally does not cast any of that aside.
Congratulations.
And peace~
Posted by: Jim on January 17, 2007 11:22 PMThis is EXACTLY why you continue to be such an inspiration to so many (including me). Congratulations! Much love.
Posted by: the rambler on January 18, 2007 02:15 PMLooks like I came a little late to the game!!! Im so excited for you!!!
Posted by: ibeejd on January 18, 2007 02:34 PMJim - Thanks for your support and nice way of looking at my desire to move on while honoring BW's memory.
The Rambler - Aww...you say the nicest things! Thanks for the congrats and much love to you!
ibeejd - Thanks! :)
Posted by: Bob on January 18, 2007 04:04 PMBob, that's wonderful news. Even through your blog it's obvious that you have a big heart and so much to share and I'm so happy you've found someone special to share it with.
Posted by: Pam on January 18, 2007 10:05 PMPam - Thanks! It does feel great to have someone special in my life!
Posted by: Bob on January 19, 2007 08:45 AMI am so very happy for you. I wish you all the best with PWF or anyone else that makes you happy! Love you!
Posted by: Bridget on January 27, 2007 02:44 PM
:)
geo
Posted by: geo on January 16, 2007 02:37 PM