Obviously, I still dream about Mary. She will be there in an everyday situation but part of my dream mind will think that something's wrong, that she shouldn't be there because she's dead. One day dreaming about her came up with the girls and they said that they felt the same way when they dreamed about her.
But I don't share the dreams like the one I had Saturday night. In those dreams we are all together doing something, and then Mary goes off by herself. I go over to speak with her and let her know that me and the kids are sad and don't understand why she won't come back to the table/car/whatever and be with us.
She smiled, and hugged me...and that's when I start to cry...cry for what we had, cry for what we wanted in our future...for the kids and the day they get married, have kids...all the things that Mary lived for and wanted to see. I cry because I don't know how I'm going to do this alone.
Sometimes I wake up and feel comforted, most times I wake up from this type of dream depressed.
Posted by bbarton at August 28, 2006 09:08 AM