We got the CT scan results back for my Beautiful Wife on Friday and it was the worst possible news. Hundreds of tumors are growing in both of her lungs and her condition is terminal. There are no treatment options available to her that would statistically increase her life or quality of life...she's going to die.
She knows this and is at peace. She's written letters to each of our children and is dividing up the jewelry from her jewelry box so that each one of them has something of hers when she's gone. She says that it feels like God is sheltering her in his arms and she's not afraid.
Family and friends have gathered close and have come to say goodbye. It could be anytime, or it could be a matter of weeks so time is precious and short.
I have to be strong for everyone here, but honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I've been with her more than half of my life and she's made me who I am. I know I'll have continue to be strong, for the sakes of the prince and princesses, but she is the love of my life and it hurts...so very much.
Posted by bbarton at February 12, 2006 09:00 AMThere are no words to express my sadness for you and your family. I am so sorry.
Posted by: Leigh on February 12, 2006 10:32 AMI am so very very sorry. I know we only really know each other through David but I am very sorry for the bad news. The love you show with just your words here conveys a whole lot.
Posted by: Michael on February 12, 2006 10:33 AMBob, I'm so very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: pam on February 12, 2006 11:57 AMYou and your entire family are in our thoughts and prayers. We're devastated to hear the news. Much love.
Posted by: the rambler on February 12, 2006 02:47 PMoh, Bob, I am so sorry to hear this news. Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Rae on February 12, 2006 08:02 PMLots of love to you "Amazing Bob" and family.
Hi Bob-
I think we may have met a long time ago. I have been keeping up with Ashleys blog for over a year now....and when I was bored one day, I wandered onto your blog......i kind of felt like i was treading on someones personal space......but, I hear about you from Dave and Ash so much, I decided it was o.k. to read up on the latest news....since about November I have become a "regular". I enjoy your daily commetary on whatever....your great sense of humor....and your obvious love of your beautiful wife, and your wonderful children. I have also enjoyed the incredible support of your friends who have regular comments, which you then reply so appropriately to......In short, you have such strength and faith, and you and your children are so bonded.....this is horrible news.....but you, your beautiful wife, and your children can and will handle this, as you have handled every other hurdle that has been thrown at you.......with each other and the support of all your "adoring fans". They are all there for you. Even this stranger is thinking of you and your family with love..........
I'm so very sorry and send you all big blogger hugs and long distance caring.
Posted by: Antipodeesse on February 13, 2006 06:44 AMHi Bob, I'm so very sorry to read your news. I'll be thinking of you, your beautiful wife and your family.
Posted by: Ms. Mac on February 13, 2006 07:01 AMI'm so very sorry. I send you big, blogger hugs and long distance caring.
Posted by: Antipodeesse on February 13, 2006 07:14 AMBob, our thoughts and prayers are with your wife, you, and the family. The strength you all have is awesome. Stay strong.
Posted by: Granite & Mrs. Rants on February 13, 2006 08:40 AMWords fail. Yes, you'll be strong for you and yours; Mary is showing you how. Cherish the time you have and worry about tomorrow later. Our thoughts are with you all.
geo and jules
Posted by: on February 13, 2006 09:07 AMI am so sorry to hear this very sad news. I know you'll continue to be strong for the sake of your children, and for BW. You're in my thoughts and prayers!
Posted by: xianfern on February 13, 2006 09:11 AMOh Bob, my friend, I am so so sorry. This is all so terrible. Hugs hugs. But don't be too strong. It's OK to let go sometimes - your kids won't hurt nor the BW. And let the time you have together be sweet sometimes, inasmuch as it's possible. xx
Posted by: grannyp on February 13, 2006 09:30 AMI am speechless. I am hurt for you and your family. I know somewhat what this news feels like having lived through it with my father and I know how it can choke you up till you feel like you can't breathe. I take comfort in the fact, having read your blog, that you and your family will help each other through this. Clearly you are a very strong and loving family.
I am so sorry Bob. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by: Contagious on February 13, 2006 09:47 AMIt's okay not to be strong all the time. Really. I'm so very heartbroken for you and your family and really don't have the words that will make this any less painful for you. Stick with your blogger friends...use us all as an outlet when you are angry or upset. Take tons of time to tell her everything you've ever wanted to say and haven't. I don't know if it's worse to lose someone quickly or slowly but I do know if I'd've had more time with my Mom there are SO many things I would have said to her. ((HUGS))
Posted by: kari on February 13, 2006 01:45 PMI'm sorry to hear about BW, though she sounds as amazing as ever! I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers...
Posted by: jenn/christhadasister on February 13, 2006 02:06 PMOh Bob. I'm so very sorry. You and BW are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Caroline on February 13, 2006 07:09 PMBob,
Damn honey.....I want to be able to say something so profound to help you through what is going to be a terrible time. I lost my mother three years ago to cancer (she was only 50), but I am sure that does not compare to the loss of your beautiful wife. Please know that I am here for you. wether it be through e-mails or you need someone to call. You and the kids are in my thoughts doll.
Katy
I am so sorry, bob. that is just awful...
be strong.
my thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) on February 14, 2006 04:50 PMI'm so sorry, Bob. We're losing my dad's girlfriend of 21 years to the stuff too ... it's heartbreaking. All you can do is treasure the time you have left and lock in your heart for remembering -- she'll always be there, and you'll always have her. Make the best of the rest of it -- it'll do you all good.
In my thoughts ...
Posted by: april on February 15, 2006 08:08 PMI cannot possibly imagine what you're feeling now- well not totally.
I'd like to say something to make it all better, but there are no words for that.
so here's a hug, hoping it maybe put a smile on your face, if just for a second
*big big hug*
I'm so very sorry, Bob. If there is anything at all I can do, please let me know.
Posted by: Chosen on February 12, 2006 10:25 AM