I've had the most intense and bizarre dreams over the last week. I'm sure it is spillover from my worry regarding BW. Everyone around me, for the most part, operates in panic/crisis mode so I have to be a rock of stability. Otherwise, we'd have a continual parade of hand-wringing and tears around BW while she is concentrating on getting better and doing whatever it takes to prepare for the next battle if she does have cancer.
Right now the big issue is "Why doesn't he take her to Dana Farber?!!?!?" (weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth and lots of fist shaking in my direction).
BW has been to Dana Farber and will continue to go there for second opinions regarding her diagnosis and treatments if needed. If the treatment is only available at Dana Farber, that's where we'll go. However, our hospital is a regional cancer center and has many of the chemo and radiation facilities that you'd find at Dana Farber. I'm sure BW's last round of treatments would have been even harder if she had to travel 2 hours each way in a car on top of getting the treatment.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I was taking BW to Dana Farber now all the nay-sayers would be asking why I wasn't taking her to the local hospital instead, because that's just the way they are...
So, instead of working with us and supporting us, they turn each conversation about her upcoming appointments or care into a battle. I prepare for this battle by visiting the various cancer and medical associations on the web and educating myself on the diagnosis and treatment of her type of cancer. They prepare by talking to someone in the checkout line at the store, catching 10 minutes on Good Morning America, and reading the Enquirer.
If it wasn't so serious, I'd be laughing my ass off right now...
Posted by bbarton at January 10, 2006 09:50 AMi was waiting for the part about the bizarre dreams... i had a pretty bizarre one myself this morning. it was about breastfeeding and while there was a lot of weird stuff in it, perhaps the weirdest was discovering that when i 'pumped' i got change. (pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters.) how's that for laughter!!!!
Posted by: heidi on January 10, 2006 11:13 AMKaty - Good advice, thanks!
Heidi - Woohoo! Breasts and change!
Posted by: Bob on January 10, 2006 11:40 AMYou guys are the ones with firsthand knowledge and information. YOU call the shots. Who cares what any one else's opinion is. As if the situation isn't difficult enough without their 'help'.
Posted by: kari on January 10, 2006 05:37 PMKari - They're trying to help me into a nervous breakdown...but it won't work! *maniacal laugh*
Posted by: Bob on January 10, 2006 05:48 PMIt sucks that some people have such destructive ways of dealing with stress and anxiety. Just know that there are a lot of us out here that do support you and want to help you and BW keep fighting the good fight against this disease in any way we can.
Posted by: YouWho's wife on January 10, 2006 07:22 PMYou Who's Wife - Thanks for the support and encouraging words...it means a lot to us.
Posted by: Bob on January 10, 2006 08:44 PMI certainly admire the way you are dealing with all this.
Posted by: Antipodeesse on January 11, 2006 03:07 AM
I say laugh anyways. They say laughter is the best medicine. You know you have to do what YOU feel is best, no matter what others think. Hang tough sweetness.
Posted by: Katy on January 10, 2006 10:04 AM