May 03, 2005

One more injury story or How did this kid survive?

I guess it isn't amazing that I have a fairly high pain threshold.

I had torn cartilage in my wrist and did six months of physical therapy before they figured it out. "How did you stand the pain?" they asked.

I had appendicitis but didn't end up in the emergency room, doubled over in pain, until it was ready to burst.

I was around 12-14 years old and was sliding with some friends. We had those plastic sleds that roll up when you don't have them straightened flat on the ground. The point is that you have about an 1/8 inch of plastic between you and the ground.

I was going down this particular hill, kneeling on the sled because it had a tricky corner, and lost control. I veered off the course, over the edge and landed on my knees after a 3-4 foot drop from the snowbank to the asphalt of our road.

I limped home. I had torn through jeans and long underwear and my knees were a bloody mess.

I walked in the door....

Compassionate Father: Jesus Christ! What did you do now?
Me: crying a little and not yet realizing that I'm going to be in trouble
Compassionate Father: Are you bleeding? Get over by the door before you drip on the carpet.
Me: trying to explain the extent of my injuries, crying more now because I know I'm hurt AND in trouble
Compassionate Father: You tore your pants and long-johns?!?!?! You're grounded for two weeks. Now get the hell out of my sight and stack all that wood (2 cords or so) that just got delivered. AND DON'T GET BLOOD ON THE CARPET!

Just as I limped to the door my little sister (four years younger) came into the room and said that she had bumped her leg on her bed.

Compassionate Father: Come here baby...let me see...WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR YOU LITTLE BASTARD? GET OUT THERE AND STACK THE WOOD. Do you want daddy to kiss that baby?

The whole truth, so help me God.

Posted by bbarton at May 3, 2005 07:57 AM

Comments

Oh, Bob. *hugs* I am so, so sorry.

You *did* survive. The fact that you are a smart, funny, warm, compassionate man...a loving father to your own children, proves that.

Posted by: lu on May 3, 2005 10:40 AM

Yes, you did Bob, well put Lu.

And I pretty damn sure you didn't treat your son like that.

Posted by: Caroline on May 3, 2005 01:55 PM

This wasn't the old 'daddy boot camp for producing non-sissy boys', was it? Here's dollars to donuts that it tore your father apart to see you standing there in your own blood, but he had to get rid of that because it was too 'soft'. Thus the shouting and coarseness.

But daddies were always allowed to be compassionate to their wee girlies, weren't they?That wasn't soft, it was just protection. Boys didn't need to be protected, they needed to be strong, right?

Just a note; these days, if a daddy tells a ten-year-old girl 'Do you want daddy to kiss that baby', chances are that she'll be on the phone to her therapist. Maybe that's because far too many daddies (not yours, i'm thinking) mistook something else for softness.

Just one of those stupid situations where everyone loses.

Let's hope those ideas die with the generation that practiced them.

Posted by: anan on May 3, 2005 02:05 PM

Oh, and... i just remembered something. This reminded me of a story from our tradition. A bedouin saw the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.s.) kissing his grandsons, to which he said, 'We don't kiss the children.'

The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.s.) replied, 'If Allah has Taken compassion out of your heart, there is no one who can put it back in again.'

You might go tell that to your own C.F.

Posted by: anan on May 3, 2005 02:10 PM

Back then, they called it "Character Building", didn't they? Your Dad sounds alot like my Mom. Nothing was ever good enough. At least we're better off now. Cheers!

Posted by: Jim on May 3, 2005 09:01 PM

I'm really sorry, Bob. He was wrong about you. And thank God you survived. It shows who was stronger, don't you think? You came through a childhood like that and didn't turn into someone like him.

Bravo, sir. You're doing well.

Posted by: Deirdre on May 4, 2005 04:55 AM

Thanks for all the support and positive comments about me and my kids. I wasn't putting it out there looking for sympathy, but it is nice to get it anyway. :)

I look back on it now and think it is kind of funny. I can talk about it with the same mind frame as basic training...I got through it by thinking the drill sergeant was nuts and by trying to stay one step ahead.

Posted by: Bob on May 4, 2005 05:33 AM
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