We moved to NH when I was 10 from the heart of North Philadelphia. We stayed with my uncle (a real lumberjack originally from Canada) and aunt who lived in Rye. Uncle Richard learned to speak English in lumberjack camps so he made liberal use of the "F" word. He would drink his coffee in one big gulp as soon as the waitress poured it for him. He also believed his helpers should be amply supplied with ring dings, soda, chips, and anything else they desired.
Uncle Richard would drive to a job with us kids in the back of his pickup truck in a manner which wasn't very safe, but we loved him. He also paid us for our help which was a step above the slave labor I performed for my parents.
Anyway, that is where my dad got his start and nothing would do but for us to start burning wood once we moved into our house in Hampton.
Some simple rules for working with my father while cutting wood:
-Stay out of the way of the saw unless he needs something. Then respond immediately and make sure you don't get cut because we don't have time for a doctor's visit.
-The quickest way to move wood is to toss it. You must be aware of where he is when you toss and never hit him. If he is tossing you must be aware of that fact and avoid being hit because he can't do everything.
-If a tree might fall on the house you must tie a rope in the top of it and pull it in the direction you want it to fall. If you can get the rope high enough by tossing it and hooking it over a branch, great. If you can't, then the kid must climb the tree and do it instead. The kid must be able to do this faster than an Olympic class squirrel. When the tree is being cut you pull until it starts falling in your direction and then you must drop the rope and run like hell. You can't drop it too soon because it might change directions. It isn't ok to have the tree fall on the house but it is ok to put the kid in danger. The kid musn't get hit by the tree because it would require a trip to the hospital and there isn't time.
-After all the cutting is done the kid must stack, split, and do any cleanup work that needs to be done in the yard. The dad must go inside and shower to get ready for a dinner out with his friends. When friends come over dad must show the neat wood piles and brag about them without mentioning that all he did to form the piles was contribute sperm so that his son could be born.
All the work never killed me and it was a great physical workout. I just look back in amazement of what I did and wonder how I didn't end up maimed for the rest of my life.
Posted by bbarton at September 12, 2003 09:38 AM